


Things You Said

by iamfrenchy



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: After Season 3B, Allison is dead, Angst, Fluff, Love, M/M, Nogitsune, Slow Burn, Werewolves, prompts, sterek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-19
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-05 03:30:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4164024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamfrenchy/pseuds/iamfrenchy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When everything is done and dusted with the Nogitsune, Stiles has to try to live with the aftermath. With his best friend hurt and a sourwolf that's taking a lot more interest in him.</p><p>This is told from Derek's point of view</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Things You Said While Sitting Still

**Author's Note:**

> I know I haven't even updated Royal Omega but this spoke to me! Thank you so much for reading and keep checking back because this will have a lot more chapters! If one of you guys have a better chapter summary could you please send it to me? I suck at writing summaries! hit me up on ixamxfrenchy.tumblr.com

It was odd seeing Stiles sit still, it was terrifying to say the least. To see the teenager just be while Derek was so used to seeing him just be himself, be alive and moving. This didn’t even look like Stiles, how could it after everything that had happened? Derek watched as Stiles just kept staring out of his window, it was like he didn’t even know that Derek was there, that anyone was there at all. It’s been going on for weeks now, Stiles living in his head. Derek knew it wasn’t a good thing, not for Stiles in any case to be in his head when he had just spent so many months just in there with no way out. The nogitsune had left scars and wounds and Stiles was losing the battle.

It had been a horrible thing when Stiles finally came to, after the whole ordeal with the warriors and Allison dying. Stiles didn’t know what was going on around him when he finally woke up, it was something of a panic attack when he came back and could feel that it was himself and only himself in there. He had screamed when people started to talk, like he couldn’t understand how people could still look at him after everything that he had done.

“It wasn’t you!” Scott had screamed at him a few days after the fight, still torn up at the death of Allison, still mourning her death and his best friend had been nothing of a help, having a hand in her death. Stiles had sat with tears running down his face, he was done shouting and he had grown silent. That was the most terrifying for Derek, Stiles had always filled in the silence, had always had something to say, one odd fact spewing from his lips on another. It usually irritated and irked Derek that Stiles never could keep quiet but he missed it now, he missed that chatter that he had always tried to block out but he would never admit that he listened more than blocking it out.

It was weeks after the incident when Derek showed up like he usually did, finding Stiles on his bed, he hadn’t touched anything in his room except for his clothes and bed and the Sheriff had grown worried at how Stiles wouldn’t eat.

“Stiles?” Derek wasn’t used to being the one that had to speak up for the both of them, he was so used to Stiles being the talker between the two of them. Stiles looked at him but it felt like Stiles was looking through him and out of the window again. Derek stepped closer and Stiles didn’t even do anything, that in itself was odd because Stiles had refused to let anyone even remotely close to him since he was in his room. Stiles watched with cold eyes as Derek closed the small distance between himself and Stiles’ bed, he watched as Derek ran a hand through his hair and tried to gather his thoughts.

“You need to get out of your head” Derek knew he wouldn’t get through to Stiles, he knew he wouldn’t be able to say something to get the teenager back to the boy Derek loved, not that he would ever say that out loud, not now at least. Not when Stiles had so many other things going on in his life.

But he had to try.

“Stiles, please, you need to come back” Derek all but pleaded, he didn’t understand this clawing feeling in his chest, he didn’t understand this desperation that had settled over his chest. He couldn’t understand why it had suddenly broken on him now, why not a few weeks ago or a few weeks later, why now? Was it the way that Stiles’ eyes were sunken into his face, how his eyes only blinked every few seconds, how the breaths he was pulling was shallow and Derek was afraid of what would happen if he left it to go on. He was afraid of losing Stiles, he realised.

“I need you to come back, I can’t lose you” It was like talking to a brick wall, Stiles just kept staring at him and Derek just wanted to shake some life back into the amber eyed boy.

“I can’t, please, you’re stronger than this, you’ve fought harder battles. Stiles you need to wake up!” He shouted, he knew he had to do something now, the panic grabbing at his sides, at his lungs and his heart and he couldn’t seem to find some place for it to catch onto. It felt like he was talking to Stiles but the only thing there was the body and not the boy inside, the boy that had slowly crawled into Derek’s heart and had made a nest for himself there and he refused to leave.

He watched the lights in Stiles eyes light back up, he watched as Stiles clawed himself through the fog and he saw as Stiles slowly blinked back and looked around himself.

“Der?” Stiles broken voice spoke and Derek didn’t know what to do now, he had been right when he felt like he was talking to an empty shell because Stiles had buried himself so deep that he had been hidden in there and he just needed someone to come beg for him to come back. They had gotten Stiles back a few days after the incident and Stiles had been a mess, a horrible sight to behold through tears and grief and the next day when they came to watch him, he was this shell and they couldn’t get him out of there.

Until now.

“Stiles” Derek breathed, the panic slowly leaving him and Derek watched as Stiles took in a deep shuddering breath, he watched as Stiles clawed and freed himself, he watched as tears sprang free from his now alive amber eyes. Derek found himself wrapping himself around the boy, wrapping and pulling the boy together again.

“They’re dead and I couldn’t stop it and I couldn’t get out, I couldn’t fight him and he wouldn’t let me out. He kept pushing me back and then I stopped fighting and then I started to like it, I liked the power. Derek!” He spoke between sobs and he sounded so panicked, he sounded like he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore and he shared it with the first person he could which was Derek. Stiles still didn’t move from his spot but he slowly stretched his arms and pulled himself closer to Derek, burrowing himself into Derek’s chest. Derek took a deep breath, sighing when Stiles finally smelled like he always did, alive and full and like home even when he was crying.

“Stiles, you didn’t have anything to do with their deaths, you couldn’t stop it and he was a thousand years old and so strong. We lost fighters that night and we lost Allison but she would be so proud that you finally got out, that you finally won your own battle. Stiles, you’re okay now” Derek hadn’t spoken so much in years, he hadn’t spoke like that since his family was still alive but Stiles had this effect on him, this way of keeping him from losing himself even if Stiles didn’t know what effect he had. Stiles sobbed into his chest, hand clutching at him and when he finally stopped and just stayed like that, Derek was afraid that he had pulled back again with how still he was sitting.

“Derek, I don’t want to face the world, I don’t want to see Scott and know I’m the reason for Allison dying. I don’t want to face the rest of the pack, even if we’re not all that whole to start with and I don’t want to see the worry in my dad’s face, I don’t think I can face them.” Derek sighed when Stiles started to talk again, Derek staying quiet as Stiles pulled at his shirt that he was wearing, but he still wouldn’t look up at Derek. Derek took a deep breath, hand slowly coming around and resting on Stiles’ face, hand edging Stiles to look up at him and the bright amber eyes caught Derek’s hazel eyes.

“Stiles, no one is mad at you. We’re more worried than anything else, we’re here for you because you were the one that got possessed and couldn’t do anything about it. We’re here to carry you through this and we know you’re strong enough to get through his. I know you’re strong enough to beat this and don’t worry about everyone, we’re just glad you’re coming around” Stiles stayed quiet for yet another long time while he played over everything that had been said and when he opened his eyes again, he watched Derek with determination.

“When you came by every time, I could feel you in the room, I could hear you when you talked and I never got that when the others were around, I knew about them but I could feel you and I don’t know why. I didn’t want to just come back again, I was okay with dying but you kept begging and I really didn’t want to cause you any more pain, I didn’t want you or my dad to lose someone else. Derek, why can I feel your heart beating in my ears?” He whispered and Derek didn’t know what to do with that, Stiles was all over the place and he was so still, so unmoving and his eyes wouldn’t let Derek go. Derek tried to think with the eyes on him and he tried to remember what his mom told him about her and his dad when they had realised that they were mates, that they were the two parts of a whole. She said that his dad had asked the same question before he had been turned and her own mother had said that human mates could hear that. Stiles could hear his heart beating.

“Stiles?” He finally looked up from the boy and found the sheriff in the doorway and suddenly Stiles had moved, conversation forgotten as he jumped in to his dad, sobs breaking free once again.


	2. Things You Said In The Backyard At Night

Stiles had slowly began to be himself again a week after he came back, he finally laughed again, it wasn’t so full and loud as it had been before but no one was expecting it to be, they were just glad that Stiles had come back, that he was up and talking again and that he would finally just go back, not to normal but to acceptable.

But it wasn’t that easy, Derek could still see the black circles under Stiles’ eyes when he would come out to the loft to talk with Scott, Kira and Lydia. He could still see the way that Stiles would clutch at consciousness, how he would do everything he could to stay awake. Derek remembered the things about the dreams Stiles had told him one day, when the nogitsune had started to take over and was leaving Stiles with nightmares.

“Stiles?” He had spoken up one day when the rest had left to go get food for them and Stiles had stayed behind, he had taken up to ignoring personal space with Derek and he was sitting close to Derek on the couch, sides pressed together and Stiles looked up from where he was looking around to where Derek was.

“Der?” That had been new too but he didn’t want it to change. Derek slowly picked up his hand and held it up to Stiles’ face, all of his fingers in his line of view.

“Count them” Stiles suddenly knew what Derek had been doing and he choked down a sob, turning to Derek and burying his face into Derek’s shoulder and Derek just pulled him closer and rubbed soothing circles on his back.

“It still feels like I’m dreaming” Stiles muttered and when Derek clutched at his hand he clutched back, hands twining together and Derek’s stomach clenched at the home, earthed feeling he got from the sensation.

“Well, you’re not. You still have five fingers, you can read here and screens work. You are perfectly awake.”

“That’s not the thing, it’s getting to sleep that’s the problem, I can’t seem to go to sleep or as soon as I do I wake up, I’m afraid of what I might find in there” Derek pulled Stiles until he was tucked into his lap, Derek ignored the unsure feeling that sprouted in his chest. Stiles needed this a lot more than he had and he didn’t need to start freaking out about what this could mean for him or them.

“How about we try this? You go to sleep and I’ll be right here, you’re dead on your feet Stiles” Derek didn’t even have to convince Stiles to go to sleep, he had just burrowed further into Derek and his breath evened out and his grip loosened. Derek tried not to think about what this meant for the two of them.  Derek pulled out his phone and texted that Scott and the girls shouldn’t come back, Stiles was sleeping and he didn’t want them to disturb him.

And then he was left with a sleeping Stiles on his lap that groaned and moaned when Derek so much as shifted in his seat, he was stuck with the teenager on his lap and Derek didn’t really mind it all that much, Stiles was warm and snugly and Derek had fallen asleep a few times too, head resting against Stiles, his mood shifting and he hadn’t felt this content in ages, just having Stiles, knowing that even though everything was horrible and messed up that at least he was okay, to some extent of the word.

Derek had received a text from the sheriff asking where his son was, he had returned with just a ‘he’s sleeping, will bring him over when he wakes up’. His gaze lowered to watch the boy slowly take in evening breaths, his heart slowly beating in his chest and he was mesmerized at every beauty mark that littered Stiles and he tried to not think about how many of those were scattered over his body, and if he would ever get the chance to see them, to count them. To make them form small constellations.

At two the morning Derek couldn’t handle it, his legs had fallen asleep and Stiles’ hipbone was digging into his side and he wasn’t comfortable anymore, he wanted to snuggle with Stiles but he couldn’t do it like they were now. Derek tried to shift but Stiles groaned, Derek steeled his nerves and shifted so that he could get up from the couch, Stiles didn’t like that very much. Derek stretched out his asleep limbs and stretched his arms over his head, his t-shirt riding up.

“Why are you there?” Stiles asked, voice thick with sleep and his eyes were still closed and Derek smiled at how he sounded, like he didn’t even want Derek a few feet away from him.

“Just getting up, let’s go to bed” Derek held out his hand for Stiles to take but Stiles just kept laying on the couch, eyes closed, mouth open and Derek really shouldn’t be finding it so fucking endearing. Derek sighed but stood closed and picked Stiles up, the boy didn’t do a whole lot of protesting and just settled back against Derek’s chest, it clenched when Stiles’ hand found his shirt and held onto it. He took the few steps from the couch to the bed that stood at the side of the French windows that overlooked Beacon Hills. He lowered Stiles who only held onto his shirt, Derek wasn’t amused by this, well that was what he was trying to tell himself at two in the morning.

“Stiles, let go, I need to get in next to you but you still have shoes on and jeans and that can’t be comfortable” Stiles groaned, letting Derek’s shirt go but didn’t make any further moves.

“Help me” Stiles asked with a sleepy voice and Derek knew that Stiles was milking it now but Derek stood strong, tugging Stiles’ shoes off, dropping them next to the bed, he followed with the jeans, tugging them off but not before he felt his whole face burn, he was so glad Stiles wasn’t fully awake for this. He stared at the spotting of freckles and beauty marks on Stiles’ thighs and he really did want to make constellations of out those. Derek had always wanted Stiles’ in his bed but not like this. He shucked off his own clothes, only leaving himself in a pair of boxer before he dropped down next to Stiles, it took a whole of two seconds before Stiles wrapped himself around Derek like an octopus and Derek sighed when he could feel Stiles breathe against his neck. He fell asleep with soft breaths against his skin and dreams off constellations with amber.

 

It was easy falling into this rhythm they had created that night. Stiles had softly asked Derek the next day if Derek wouldn’t mind sleeping at his until he could do it alone and Derek was so lost to Stiles that he had agreed. So that’s how Derek found himself in Stiles’ bed with the boy wrapped around him every night for almost two weeks. That was until Derek had to go do things a few towns over and wouldn’t be there for their usual bed time. But he had rushed that night, opting to show up late rather than not at all.

But when Derek stepped into the room, his eyes trying to find Stiles, he couldn’t spot his figure in the bed. Derek’s heart skipped in his chest and he tried to figure out where the boy was. Derek could hear the sheriff sleep and when he focused he found Stiles’ pitter patter heartbeat outside. Why would Stiles be outside at two in the morning?

Derek all but rushed down, finding the boy standing in the backyard in nothing but his boxers and Derek looked at the constellations on his back, hand itching to trace them like Stiles let him sometimes when he couldn’t get to sleep as quickly as he had wanted.

“Stiles?” Derek whispered and Stiles turned his head, his eyes finding Derek before turning back to look at the woods that started at the end of his backyard.

“Why aren’t you in bed?” Derek asked, stepping closer, closing the few steps between them and Stiles shrugged.

“You weren’t there and I couldn’t sleep. The bed felt empty and so big and I couldn’t get settled so I came out here. Derek, I can still hear your heart in my ears and I can’t figure out why?” Stiles spoke softly, like he was afraid that if he talked too loudly Derek would run off and Derek was very tempted to just turn around and not talk about it but he knew he couldn’t, he didn’t really want to anymore.

“Human mates to werewolves hear their mates’ heartbeats in their ears” Derek answered, leaving it at that and Stiles froze, his lips moving over a word, silently feeling it on his lips and tongue.

“Did you say mate?” Stiles asked again and Derek nodded, Stiles turned to look at him and Derek lifted his shoulders in a shrug.

“Do with it what you want. Stiles, we don’t have to do anything about it, not now, not ever if you don’t want anything from it.”

“If I don’t want anything from this now, would you leave?” Stiles asked and Derek couldn’t figure out what was going on with Stiles for the first time since the nogitsune took him over.

“Never, I don’t need anything from you now. Mates don’t have to do anything with the connection if they don’t want to. We can leave it alone but if we go on like this, taking care of each other, the bond is just going to grow stronger” Stiles brows furrowed and he looked down at his hand before he finally stretched them over and took Derek’s in his.

“How about we just take it really slowly and just go on with life as it is now, we admit that there is a bond and that we’re mates but we don’t rush. I can’t do rush now” Stiles spoke softly and entwined their hands and Derek’s wolf wanted to howl out in joy, but he couldn’t do that now. So he did the second best thing, leaning over and pressing a soft kiss to Stiles’ forehead.

“Whatever you deem to be good enough will be great for now. No rushing” Derek promised and Stiles gave him a shy smile and Derek wanted to kiss those lips but stopped himself, he gripped onto his hands and just smiled back at him, that seemed to be enough for Stiles at that moment.

“Great, let’s go to bed” Stiles tugged him upstairs and Derek shucked off his shoes and jeans and shirt, climbing into the bed and wrapping Stiles closer to his body and the boy sighed.

“Are you okay with us being mates?” Stiles asked and Derek could hear the insecurity in his voice and he wanted to never ever hear it again. He kissed Stiles hair before nodding.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, you’re perfect”

“You’re a sap, Sourwolf”


	3. Things You Said While Holding My Hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I love kudos and comments so don't be shy!!!

It was odd falling into this pattern that they had created. It was a pattern that they didn’t speak of, they just kind of lived it. It was hard to ignore them growing, hard to ignore that Derek grew to be more conscious of Stiles, he didn’t know it was possible until he felt Stiles four houses down, yes, he felt him like he was next to him and that was worrying because they hadn’t even mated yet. Being mated would make everything a thousand times better but yet a thousand times harder. Derek knew how this worked, Stiles was leaning on him to get better and to grow stronger and he didn’t mind that one bit but he did mind the fact that Stiles would leave at one point because being mated didn’t actually mean anything to Stiles like it meant something to Derek. Being mated showed Derek that there was someone out there that was perfect for him, it wasn’t a new thing for Derek when Stiles had asked about his heart in his ears, it was just solidifying what he already knew. What he knew the moment he had laid eyes on Stiles out in the preserve, helping Scott to find the inhaler he would never need to use again.

It wasn’t the same for Stiles because he just didn’t get what it meant, there wasn’t even a human equivalent to the feelings that his wolf had for Stiles, there wasn’t a way he could describe what he felt and he knew he would have to let go of Stiles at one point, he knew Stiles would grow tired of him as soon as he got over the possession situation and it tugged at Derek’s heart that Stiles would one day ask Derek to leave and never come back.

He was convinced of this happening, if not now, in the near future, at least when Stiles would be leaving for college in a year.

“What’s got you so lost in thought?” Stiles asks a few days later, his hand was entwined with his and he was laying partially on top of Derek, he didn’t know how the position could be comfortable but he didn’t even seem to mind, his eyes dropped from the TV to Derek before he switched off the screen, eyes scanning over Derek.

“It’s nothing. How was your first day back?” Derek averted his attention to something the he honestly wanted to know about but he also wanted Stiles off of his case for the time being. Derek wanted to scold himself, why couldn’t he just be happy with what he had, why did he had to question every single thing that was happening to him? Why did he have to doubt his happiness and the lifespan of it? Stiles shrugged at Derek and looked down at their entwined hands, playing with Derek’s fingers and Derek wanted to lift their hands and kiss each of Stiles fingers, to just reassure him.

“It was fine, got a whole lot of questions from people wondering why I wasn’t dead because they last time they saw me I looked like freezer burned meat that should have been thrown out in the nineties. I tried to stay up to date with everything when I could but I’ve lost so much and I may lose my 4.0 if I keep going like this” Derek could hear the worry in Stiles’ voice, he knew how much pressure there was on Stiles to keep his grades up, he knew that if Stiles ever wanted to do something with his life he would have to pay for it himself, seeing as his Dad was still trying to figure out how to pay for Eichenhouse and the CAT scans and everything on top of that. Derek wanted to lend a hand, he had the money to do it but he knew it was more a pride thing for the Stilinksi men and he knew it wouldn’t be taken, they would get mad if he offered.

“I’ll help you study if you need me to.” Stiles frowned and narrowed his eyes at Derek, shaking his head.

“Derek, I have AP classes” Derek shrugged, he was smart okay, no one just took the time to ask Derek about school and what he had done those few years he was away from Beacon Hills. They knew he played Basketball and he had lived in New York with Laura but they didn’t ask what he did there.

“So? I could help?” He wasn’t so sure now, Stiles was making him feel like he was useless in this situation and he was starting to believe him.

“Der, did you even finish high school?” Derek scowled then, he pulled his hand from Stiles and shifted back and away from Stiles.

“Stiles, I graduated from Columbia with cum laude in Physics and Chemistry” He muttered and that threw Stiles, it threw him and then threw him again and again because he sat gaping at Derek, mouth literally hanging open.

“YOU’RE SMART?” Derek winced as Stiles shouted and Stiles furrowed his brows, shrugging, physics and chemistry he could handle, a Stiles was another thing.

“But you never spoke up when Lydia and I talked about science stuff” Stiles pointed out and Derek shrugged.

“You never gave me the chance to say anything”

“But you looked so confused”

“Because at sixteen you knew things about chemistry and physics that some people that had graduated with me didn’t know.” Stiles blushed then, he too was smart in the sense of the fact that he would retain anything he found interesting, hell he read Wikipedia pages for fun and corrected them if he found irregularities.

“So you mean to tell me, you’re a Columbia grad werewolf, ex-alpha that wants to help a spaz out?” Stiles asked and Derek sighed, taking Stiles hand in his own, finally doing like he wanted and kissed the back of Stiles hand and then each of his fingers.

“The spaz I don’t know, but I want to help you out if you’d let me” Stiles blushed again and Derek wanted to preen at how wonderful it felt to know that he had that kind of effect on Stiles.

That’s how they found themselves at the kitchen table, Stiles work scattered everywhere. They worked like that for a week after school every day to get Stiles back up to track and ahead of the class. Stiles was working out an equation, his one hand clutching onto Derek’s hand and Derek wanted to laugh at how Stiles was struggling to keep the page steady with just his writing hand.

“Stiles, you can let go of my hand,  I won’t leave or disappear if you let go” Derek whispered, he leaned over and pressed a kiss against Stiles’ neck under his ear and he watched the gooseflesh run over his body. Derek smiles when Stiles turned to him.

“I like how our hands fit together and I don’t want to stop holding your hand. I’m afraid that if I let go you’ll realise that I’m not worthy of being your mate, that you’ll see how broken I am and not want to handle it anymore. If I let go I won’t get to anchor myself to you and if you leave, I don’t think I’d get up from that kind of knock. And I know how I sound, I sound like a Lovestruck teenager that just doesn’t understand how this work but I did my research, when wolves mate they mate for life, when wolves mate it’s there and it will never leave and I’m afraid that you’d think I was a mistake” Stiles shocked Derek, his eyes wondering over his face, he wanted to just pull Stiles closer to him and silent tears ran down his cheek.

“Stiles, I would never ever leave you. You’re right, wolves mate for life but werewolves go a step further. We bond, because we’re magical creature our relationships are magical, I know it sounds cheesy but that’s how I understand it. When werewolves mate we get tethered to the person we are mated to and we just don’t mate, our wolves pick out the perfect person for them, someone that’s their equal and better, someone that would be perfect for them. And Stiles, my wolf chose you even before we started to talk and become friends, that first day in the preserve I knew you would be it for me and I didn’t want to tell you this because I know it sounds scary and daunting to know that I see you as it for me, that I won’t ever deem anyone worthy after you. Stiles, we may not be mated yet but the bond is forming and I can feel you even if you’re not right next to me, I can feel how you’re feeling and I don’t ever want to lose it. So don’t think I’m leaving because I would never do that. okay?” Stiles was silent and he watched Derek with unsteady eyes but then something snapped in them and he surged forward, fitting his lips against Derek’s and it felt like finally settling into his own bones, like it would finally be okay after everything that had happened because Stiles was kissing him and he was okay with it, more than okay if he went on the way that Stiles was tugging at him. Derek kissed just as hard as Stiles and tugged him onto his lap when he finally got the chance and Stiles liked the change of position as Derek kissed down his throat, Stiles baring the long tendons to Derek and the wolf wanted to claim, to show everyone that Stiles was his and no one would ever get to have him.

“You’re perfect” Derek whispered at Stiles against his lips as he felt the pink lips press small kisses to his lips and he opened his eyes, Stiles pulled back and watched Derek for a few seconds.

“Is it okay if we add that to the list of affection that’s okay because I don’t ever want to stop doing that with you” Stiles breathed out hard and Derek smiles, he peered up at Stiles, kissing him again.

“You’ll never get me to stop”


End file.
